Xmas 2011

Hey Everyone!

I've taken a break from blogging due to Christmas, and what a great Christmas it was! I spent Christmas Eve drinking with friends, and probably drank a bit too much, but at least I got to spend time with people I don't get to see as often since I started university. Christmas Day was spent with friends at local pubs and at my boyfriend's mum's house with his little brothers and grandad, it was lovely to see them all. On Boxing Day I went to my Nan's house to see my family, it's a tradition of ours to spend Boxing Day there and we enjoy lunch, exchanging gifts and playing games. On the 27th I had a 2nd Xmas Day with my parents, my sister and her partner, also my boyfriend was able to join us until early afternoon before he had to go back to work. So yes, I had 2 Xmas Days this year! I am indeed a lucky person!

Added to the Christmas festivities was the brilliant news that my sister has just got engaged to her partner of 5 years and they're planning a wedding for next summer (if they can get the dates they want). I've been asked to be Maid of Honour, so I've got lots to do and that includes slimming down in order to look good in the dress. I am really excited.

I'm spending New Years Eve in Reading this year with friends, and hopefully can see more of my old school friends in the new year as well.

I hope everyone had a brilliant Christmas/Winter Solstice/Winterval and will return to blogging about other stuff soon!

Lindsay x

On this Day: A Tribute

Hey People!

Today is 8th December, it has been 7 years since Pantera guitarist Dimebag Darrell (real name Darrell Lance Abbott) was shot dead on stage at a Damageplan show on 08/12/04 in Ohio, 3 others were also killed by gunman Nathan Gale on that night. The news of his death shook the metal community, to this day he is missed by people who knew him and worked with him.

Another influential musician who died on 8th December is John Lennon who was shot dead in 1980. It was in the morning in New York when Mark David Chapman shot John Lennon in the back 4 times. John Lennon is still remembered by many and has left an amazing legacy.

Both men will be remembered for their music and never forgotten.

The Reason for the Season?!

Hey People!

I saw this image online and I wanted to share it:

I have for a while thought it was strange how a Christian holiday has taken over a pagan festival and taken on many pagan traditions at this time of year. I don't think it really matters if you are religious or not when it comes to celebrating Christmas, or even if you don't call it Christmas. People get so up in arms about what they call it, remember that Daily Mail article when they got offended by Birmingham City Council calling their winter festivities "Winterval"? In reality it was just a collective term made up to cover all festivals taking place in winter time (Diwali, Xmas, New Years etc).

At the end of the day, life is for enjoyment and this is a great time of year for bringing together family & friends, giving pressents, sharing out the food and of course the booze. What ever your reason for the season... Have a great Christmas (or whatever you call it!)

Machine Head 03/12/11 with Darkest Hour, DevilDriver & BMTH

I'm a few days late in writing this, on Saturday 3rd December 2011 I went to see Machine Head at Wembley Arena. I was in seating because I couldn't get standing tickets but on the bright side it meant I had a great view of the stage, it was a pretty epic night.

The first act was Darkest Hour, I thought they were very good, I'd never really heard them before if I'm being honest and they are not as well known as the other acts that were on that night but I thought their music was great, although a little generic at times. They managed to engage the audience and got a mosh pit going, a perfect act for warming up the crowd, I'll be sure to buy their music soon though.

DevilDriver followed Darkest Hour and they were amazing! They were able to engage the audience and their sound was heavy and are a band worthy of playing alongside Machine Head in my opinion, they also managed to get the crowd going and put on a brilliant performance.

Bring Me The Horizon went on before Machine Head and it was a real let down especially after they had played after DevilDriver, who were actually fantastic. I felt that BNTM sounded very generic, were uninspiring and Oli had a very strange moment of making weird noises before going on to the next song, which was embarrassing to watch. The audience were divided on this act, half were cheering and half were booing, I just felt indifferent. I think DevilDriver should have been on before Machine Head.

Machine Head was a breath of fresh air after sitting through an unispiring performance by BMTH and were heavy, playing their well known tracks over the last 17 years they have been a band. It's incredible to see a band that had never been commercialised play a venue as large as Wembley Arena, they are clearly all about the music and it really showed. I particularly enjoyed their performance of "Aesthetics of Hate" and they put on a performance that I don't think anyone who was there will forget. Music brings out a whole array of emotions and Machine Head were pure and genuine heavy f***in' metal!

Got My Bloodstock Tickets Booked!

So next year I will be super busy, with all my studies for being a nurse. Luckily I have paid off for a holiday to Egypt (with my boyfriend) but now I have bought tickets for Bloodstock Festival 2012. Between 10th-12th August next year I am going to be at the heaviest metal fest in the UK and I can't wait!

The line up includes Alice Cooper, Behemoth, Dimmu Borgir, Hatebreed, Anvil, Orange Goblin & Paradise Lost with many more to be announced across 3 stages. Bloodstock have been known to book well known acts along with unsigned but talented bands. It's purely about the music, so I'll be sure to be there drink in hand, hopefully enjoying the sunshine and rocking out to pure metal, sounds like pure heaven! I love camping as well, and since I'm going with friends (and the boyfriend, of course) it'll be sure to be a good laugh, although I won't be staying HEL site as you'd be ejected if you make noise after midnight (it's the family campsite, fair deuce), I plan on staying up with friends and recovering when I return home.

Up until 15th December 2011 tickets for the whole weekend + camping is only £90 each on the early bird deal, so if you love metal and want to go, you need to get moving a buy a ticket NOW!

Visit the site http://www.bloodstock.uk.com/ for more information. It'll be an epic weekend!

Comedians making "jokes" about disability, again.

I can't help but notice lately than some comedians have caught the attention of the media for making jokes about a certain group of people and that's people with learning disabilities. Frankie Boyle, Ricky Gervais and Jimmy Carr have been criticised for making jokes about people who have learning disabilities and in particular people with down's syndrome.

I'm a big fan of comedy and I love to see stand up shows but I think these jokes about learning disabilities definitely cross a line. All kinds of people and cultures are targetted by comedians but the difference here is that many people with learning disabilities are not able to stand up for themselves, have conditions that they certainly did not bring on themselves and face enough challenges every day and don't need added challenges brought on by this kind of ignorance.

Hate crime against people with learning disabilities is still a problem that is far from being solved, with the death of Gemma Hayter at the hands of people she considered to be friends (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-15723053) and the case of Fiona Pilkington the mother of Francesca Hardwick, a woman with learning disabilities who took both of their lives after years of being targeted for hate crime (http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2009/sep/28/fiona-pilkington-suicide-mother-police), condoning bullying of people with learning disabilities only hinders the efforts to reduce hate crime against those with learning disabilities. Many people with learning disabilities face harassment and bullying on a regular basis, the bullies will hear the jokes made by these so-called comedians and use it against those they are bullying.

I notice that these comedians will offer some sort of apology but will try to justify their actions, in the case of Ricky Gervais he persistantly used the word "mong" and tried to justify it by saying the meaning has changed. I doubt the people who face these insults feel the same way. I also have to point out that he used the word to describe Susan Boyle, who does have a learning disability (but not down's syndrome, of course). I have also noticed that Frankie Boyle has implied that people with learning disabilities wouldn't understand what he's said, but many actually do and they understand that they are mocked for something that is not under their control.

I can't help but think you've hit the lowest of the low when you feel that you have to target vulnerable people in our society.

Confession: I love Dr Martens

I am obsessed with Dr Martens boots, I only have 1 pair at the moment but I want MORE! I've never been lady like or particularly girly but I do like shopping for clothes and make up, and Dr Martens just suit my style (or at times lack there of). They are perfect for shopping, partying, going to gigs, damn it I'd wear them everywhere given half the chance, only downside is that they're a touch out of my price range hence I only have one pair at the moment.

I love this pair at the moment, I like floral prints and they'd look great with jeans and dresses. I hope somebody can buy me a pair for Christmas.

Are Phobias Weird?

I ask this because I do have a strange phobia: Tomato Ketchup!

I've realised that every time I mention my phobia everyone either assumes I'm weird or I'm lying, I prefer people to think I'm weird because those who think I'm lying decide to try me. I've had panic attacks caused by people waving blobs of ketchup on a chip in my face, then they get shocked that I'm crying and hyperventilating, I warned you didn't I?

I have to wonder if I turned round to somebody and said "I have a phobia of heights" would they then force me to skydive from a plane? Or if I said "Spiders really care me" they then start throwing tarantulas at me? I sincerely doubt it, so why do they have to force me to be in close contact with the dreaded red sauce?

You may say "It's an irrational phobia! Ketchup never harmed anyone..." I am fully aware of this, deep down I know that I won't die if some did land on me (eeeeurgh the thought of it!) but that doesn't mean I don't want to be sick whenever I smell it. All phobias are pretty irrational, some are understandable though.

Many people have phobias, I'd guess that most people do it's just that some are more common than others. Whether the phobia is of the dark or of cotton wool, it may be irrational but not really all that weird!

The Best Rock & Metal Bands EVER!

The last few blog posts have been pretty serious and politcal so I want to do something a bit more light hearted. I love metal, I do like other genres of music as well, in fact I like most things (apart from hiphop and most r'n'b) but I think metal has to be my favourite of all time. To celebrate my love for music, here's a list of some of my favourite bands! Yay!

AC/DC

This is a band I was fortunate enough to see at Download Festival in 2010, they don't come to the UK very often. Originating from Australia, this band have been going since the 70's and are known the world over. Some of my favourites include "Highway to Hell", "A Whole Lotta Rosie" and "Rock and Roll Train". Seeing their set on their very on stage (they literally had their own stage used exclusively by them next to the main stage) was an amazing experience, they were just absolutely brilliant.

Metallica

Another band I have fortunately seen live, this time at the O2 in London in March 2009. This was also my younger cousin's first gig and I was proud to take him to this one. This is a band that have been going since the 80's and I would still say their earlier ablums were the best. They sadly lost their bass guitarist Cliff Burton 25 years ago in a traggic accident in their tour bus, but they have kept on going and are considered by many one of the greatest metal bands of all time.

Alice Cooper

Real name Vincent Furnier, not really much of a rock name is it? He is better known by his stage name and persona Alice Cooper. I saw him perform at the Camden Roundhouse at Halloween in 2010, and this has to be one of the most theatrical music performances I have ever seen. On stage he dies about 4 times by different methods and is the original shock rocker and was emulated later on by Marilyn Manson, but Alice Cooper remains the original and the best! His career has covered 4 decades and his best known song is "Poison".

System of a Down

This band is probably one of the most unique bands out there and have performed songs with some of the craziest lyrics but most actually have an underlying political message, the band originate in LA but have Armenian descent. I saw SOAD in Brixton, London in 2005, they were another great live band and there was lots of moshing! I love this band mostly for the fact that they so sound so different to other bands and really do have their own unique sound!

Avenged Sevenfold

This is the first band on my list whom I haven't actually seen live but I enjoy their music none the less. I actually listen to their second album "Waking the Fallen" before I'd heard their first album "Sounding the Seventh Trumpet", but that's because their first album was possibly their weakest. A lot of their music have a lot of biblical content when you read into, even their name is after a passage from the bible but most notably their song "The Beast and the Harlot" which is based on the Book of Revelations. My point is, this band can write a song pretty much about anything, whether it's film, religion, love, philosophy. They sadly lost their drummer in December 2009, James "The Rev" Sullivan, this was a hard time for the band but they have returned with their album "Nightmare".

Iron Maiden

This is a band I am so desperate to see live, one of my best friends is a member of the Iron Maiden fan club and she has seen them many times, I am very jealous! This band is another band whose existence spans decades, but have had a few changes in band members but still remain metal legends. They have had one UK number 1 hit and that was in January 1991 with "Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter", possibly a reaction to Cliff Richard's "Saviour's Day" being Christmas 1990 Number 1 the previous week!

Rammstein

This is a band I am going to see in February 2012 and I am extremely excited! This band sing almost exclusively in German (some lyrics have been in English and Russian etc) and have what I'd say is quite an industrial sound. If you ever translate their lyrics in English (that's if you don't already speak German) some of the words are quite shocking but still have a point to them! Their shows are known to be spectacular and from what I hear they put on a great performance, which is why I am very excited. I feel that it's actually their overall sound that makes them stand out.

That's pretty much it for now but I do have so many other bands that I enjoy listening to but these are my Super Seven (random number tbh, ah well!). I find metal that metal has some of the greatest talent and most brilliant sounds, and can express music to go with every kind of mood. Unlike X-Factor types metal artists work hard to get to the top and only the genuinely talented have careers that last.

Thank you for reading... Stay metal!!

Teen pregnancy down - but that's not enough for some MPs!

Another article in the Guardian caught my attention today http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/nov/16/anti-sex-drive-nadine-dorries about MP Nadine Dorries' proposal that we should teach abstinence only as a compulsory part of the sex education curriculum?

My concern is that she is focussing on girls, that somehow it's always down to the females to say no and forgetting that sometimes boys are pressured into having sex before emotionally ready. In fact, many teenage boys feel under pressure to act "the man" and get with girls.

Teen pregnancy is at the lowest rate in the UK since the 80's, at the moment we have an evidence based curriculum that gives young people the facts. Meanwhile, in the US in states where abstinence only sex education curriculum is taught teen pregnancy is at a much higher rate. The evidence is that ABSTINENCE ONLY SEX EDUCATION DOES NOT WORK!! If we give young people the facts, they tend to make up their own minds. They are already taught that they have the right to say "no" and to only do it when they are ready, and that's not necessarily going to be when they are married. I completely disagree with Dorries when she says it could combat sexual abuse, because it hasn't worked that way for America either!

I have a feeling that Nadine Dorries is just trying to enforce her own personal and religious view into parliament and into law. Just like how she proposed that women having abortions should receive pre-abortion "counselling" from pro-life and religious organisiations, she's now trying to push her religious opinions into education with no real evidence at all to back up what she has to say. Personally, I see her as a chauvinist who's trying to limit the choices women have over their own bodies.

Big companies exploiting young jobseekers?

Hello everyone!

I read another article in the Guardian (I read this one a lot, you probably guessed) it's titled 'Young jobseekers told to work without pay or lose unemployment benefits'

I think unemployment is awful but making people work for big companies for free is probably the worst way to go about this situation. If big companies like Asda, Tesco, Poundland et al can get free labour from the government they are far less likely to recruit more people into paid positions. Also by sending people on these work experience placements and stopping their benefits if they pull out the government are taking away time they could be spending on going to interviews and finding a suitable job. This is taking advantage of poor people who would have no option but to provide big companies with free labour, this is exploitation at it's worse. This offers no solutions.

If the government want to bring in a work for your benefits system they should at least be sending job seekers to charitable organisations, this way at least they will be doing something worthwhile with their time not just put into a supermarket and told to just work. Technically at the government the government are saving big businesses money on recruitment and paying employees, it could be argued that the government are providing private organisation state subsidies they could be in breach of EU law.

I think as usual the government are looking out for big companies and not the "little people".

Fighting For The Hardest Hit

Hey everybody!

I'm very late in writing this but I think everyone, especially those based in the UK should know about The Hardest Hit Campaign. This campaign has been organised by both Disabilities Benefits Consortium and UK Disabled People's Consortium to fight against the proposed cuts to services and benefits received by disabled people. Those with disabilities and their families or carers may struggle enough as it is to get the services they need, for some the benefits and services are needed to maintain some independence.

I can't help but sometimes feel that the way disability benefits are portrayed in the media is detrimental to the disabled people themselves. Most media stories seem to focus on benefit fraud and people given disability living allowance are in fact fit to work, but this is actually rarely the case. There have in fact been cases of people who have severe disabilities declared fit for work. It's not right for disabled people to be portrayed as scroungers or lazy people who just want to live off benefits.

The truth is that living with a disability or an impairment can be very expensive, there are extra costs for wheelchair accessible transportation, specialist wheelchairs (they come in a range of different, makes, shapes and sizes), hearing aids, glasses, adaptations (including hoists) in housing amongst other things that may be needed depending on the individual's needs. For the government to reduce aid to just "those of the greatest need" would be taking away people's independence, quality of life and in some cases health and wellbeing. Everybody has the right to live a fulfilling life and to have a good quality of life, it's wrong for any government to take this away from anyone.

Please visit the hardest hit blog http://thehardesthit.wordpress.com/

UK University Degrees - are they worth it?

Hello Everyone!

Today I read an article in The Independent, here's the link: http://www.independent.co.uk/student/into-university/applying/degrees-with-maximum-employability-819150.html?fb_action_ids=10150348023141946&fb_action_types=news.reads&fb_source=profile_multiline and it's got me thinking; with graduate employment being at an all time low, what is the value of getting a university degree? Are those leaving Further Education better off going into employment or getting an apprenticeship.

I can honestly say that my time at university between 2005 and 2008 were some of the best and worst times in my life, I graduated in 2008 with a degree in Religious Studies (yes, a strong atheist with a degree in RS, it is strange, I was more interested in the philosophical & cultural side to the course). My original intention was to become a teacher, I got a job in a mainstream secondary school pretty quickly and stayed working there for 8 months, I was a cover supervisor (basically like supply teaching and admin rolled in one) and I pretty much hated it. I tried applying for PGCE courses but I didn't do well at interviews, my heart wasn't in it and I soon accepted that teaching wasn't for me.

The next job I applied for and got was as a teaching assistant at a special needs school, I knew it would be different and since I had experience in schools I wanted to carry on that experience. I took a major pay cut going for this job but I LOVED it. I became more interested in the health and social care of the students as well as their education, since I knew teaching wasn't for me I decided to look at other avenues I could go down. I thought about social work, occupational therapy and learning disabilities nursing, I figured that the latter suited my skills and ambitions the best. After 2 years of working at the special school the low wages became too much and I struggled financially so I ended moving back in with the parents to save up to go back to university and study, but much to my luck I discovered an opportunity to be sponsored to train to be a learning disability nurse. What this has meant, however is that I'm back at university for 3 years! I guess having a degree already gave me a little bit of an edge with academic requirements but I think most of all experience is what got me my place on the course with the funding. I'm loving the course but I kind of wish I had done it back in 2005, but would I have had the maturity and commitment at the age of 18? Probably not.

I agree with what many UK universities are starting to do, and that's get undergraduates work experience and skills that employers look for, some even offer sandwich courses with a year in industry. Since so many graduates leave university lacking the skills and experience that employers look for, it's a good idea to work and gain experience whilst at university and do that bit extra to make their CV stand out more. I have known some undergraduates to do internships and voluntary work experience whilst still at uni, in my 3rd year I volunteered to work at a local primary school for a few weeks, it put me in good stead when applying for the cover supervisor job!

Alternatively you could get an apprenticeship where you get a level 2, 3 or 4 qualification whilst you work and earn. These are great for people who want to learn a trade and get into a particular industry, however places for them are much more competitive now. They offer a great experience to learn on the job.

I'd conclude that university degrees are not a waste of time, but the degree alone is not enough. University offers great experiences, it's time for growth and gain knowledge. It's not right for everybody, some people are better off getting an apprenticeship or working their way up a company but university offers more opportunities and support for their students. If you are thinking of going to university, don't let the fees put you off - it's definitely worth it!

Ending hate speech against disabled people

Hello everyone!

Today I read a very interesting article in the Guardian http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/nov/09/disability-hate-speech-online?fb=native&CMP=FBCNETTXT9038 called "Disability hate speech has no place anywhere - not even online". The article referred to Ricky Gervais's constant use of the the word "mong" on twitter and the abuse receive online by disability campaigners from internet "trolls".

I agree with the entire article, hatred toward people based on disabilities is not acceptable and the abuse received can make their lives a misery. This is also happening at a time when benefits are being cut for the most vulnerable in society. The abuse also promotes the already prevalent prejudice that is faced on a daily basis. However, I can't help but think that the article offers no solutions, yes most of us realise that abuse is bad - but what exactly can be done about it?

I think campaigning for education and understanding of disabilities is a must, but some may now be too scared to carry on campaigning since they don't want to receive abuse. However, I think the more that stand up against injustice the more that can be done, depending on the level of abuse, it can be dealt with by the authorities. We shouldn't let these online abusers hinder the good work of disabilities rights campaigners.

I am sure there are other solutions out there, I will probably post more on this topic in the future.

Is anyone actually offended by poppies or is it just propaganda by the far right?

I'm sure many of you will remember what happened near by the Rememberence service in November 2011, a group of militant Islamists burnt a poppy whilst shouting "British Soldiers Burn in Hell". Many people including myself were shocked and appalled at the amount of disrespect to fallen soldiers, many of us have ancestors who fought in WWI and WWII and use this day to remember their sacrifice. These men were charged under Section 5 of the Public Order Act for causing distress and harm to those who witnessed it.

I am grateful that this group of protesters are in the minority, most people respect this time of year where we pay our respects to servicemen. However I have seen on Facebook people having copy & paste statuses reading things like "Staff at (name company here) are banned from wearing poppies in case it offends Muslims" and posting pictures that say "If our poppies offend you then fuck off back to your own country". I have to ask; why is it assumed that all Muslims or foreign nationals are offended by poppies? What proof do you have that anywhere has banned poppies from being worn? I can't help but think that this is far right wing propaganda aimed at turning people with long British family histories against immigrants by claiming that they wish to disrespect our military, hitting many citizen where it hurts.

I acknowledge that some immigrants or descendents of immigrants who arrived in Britain after 1945 may not observe rememberance day, not because they disrespect British soldiers but because they don't relate to it in the same way as someone like myself who has relatives who fought and died in battle for the British Army. But whilst on this subject let's not forget that many people from abroad did fight for our armies, let's not forget the Gurkhas!

I hate to see all this "If you don't like our poppies, fuck off out of our country" type messages going around. It takes away from the importance of Rememberence Day, and that's remembering and honouring those who sacrificed their lives for our safety and freedom. Far Right groups have sickeningly taken this time to peddle their agenda.

RIP all fallen soldiers... Never Forget xx

Reading Half Marathon in aid of National Autistic Society... Should I do it?

I am considering entering the Reading Half Marathon to raise money for the National Autistic Society who support so many people living with autism and their families. Of course I want to raise money for the charity but let's face it, I'm hardly at the peak of physical fitness. I will need to do lots and lots of training, as this would be running 13 miles.

If anybody who reads this has any training tips it would be greatly appreciated. If I successfully complete this I would feel so proud of myself.

I am spontaneous and a bit crazy so yes... I will probably go ahead and do this!

I'm not surprised Greece went bust

I watched an interesting programme this evening called "Greek for a Week" where a fake Greek "accountant" gave advice to British workers about how to live more like their Greek counterparts for a week. This included a hairdresser who was entitled to retire at 53 because hairdressing is seen as "dangerous" job because of the chemicals, the programme paid her what she would've have got on a Greek pension scheme - the same amount as her weekly salary. When she told the "accountant" that she wanted to get back to work, she was told to do what the Greeks do - work from home and get clients to pay in cash. One man working as a bus driver in Luton was getting bonuses for turning up to work, checking tickets and basically just doing his job, which would add up to being the equivalent of earning and extra £35,000 a year. A highly paid orthopaedic surgeon was encouraged to "just not pay tax" by only declaring a portion of his wages, and when he is sorting out finances with private patients to invoice them for 40% of the price then ask for the rest in cash so they don't have to declare it.

This was just one example of what goes on in Greece, one of my favourite countries in the world! I used to go every year when I was younger to the island Kos, Greece and I love the place and the people. My family made friends out there who we went to visit each time we came back, I remember when the Euro came in and all of our Greek friends explained it would be bad for business. It turns out they were right, Greece is facing a crisis and struggling to pay back their debts.

Greece have a real challenge on their hands, to make up for their deficit not only do they have to crack down on tax evasion, they have to challenge an entire culture of early retirement, avoiding tax and bribery.

Haven't blogged in a while & being a student nurse

I haven't blogged in quite a long time, mostly because I have been busy with my nursing degree. I absolutely love it and will probably post some more news, views and general stuff on here soon.

Training to be a nurse is challenging and rewarding, I recently had my first practical exam and I was so nervous. I know I can do the skills that they were testing me on and could answer the questions they asked but when I get nervous my mind just goes blank. I really hope I passed but I am unsure, but I'd always try again. At the moment I'm focussing my time on other assignments and I have a biology exam coming up, I also have to keep my portfolio up to date.

I am doing the learning disabilities branch, because of this I have learnt more and more about the challenges people with learning disabilities face every day. It's important not to forget their families too, hopefully once I've qualified I can start to make a real difference in some people's lives. I also want to change attitudes in some ways too. I think I'll do a blog post about it soon.

Anyway that's all for now. Thanks for reading.

What's the Point In Getting Married?

I have had this discussion on Twitter - is there any point in getting married? Personally, I would like to get married some day but I'm not in any way ready yet. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years but we're having to live apart because of work and studying etc. It's tough but we're doing alright and we still love each other.

I agree with people when they say "I don't need a piece of paper to prove I love someone" it's a completely valid point. You can have unhappily married couples and happily unmarried couples, marriage isn't a magic spell that suddenly makes your relationship much stronger. It's easy to see why people of religion see marriage as vital, it makes their relationship "official" and "right" in their God's eyes, so they are not living in sin. As an atheist I don't see marriage this way, I don't feel like I need to get married to make our relationship official and it certainly doesn't feel wrong not being married.

So why do I want to get married? My main reason is because marriage is like a celebration, it brings your families together, it's a big declaration of love and by law it gives you more rights as a couple. I also, admittedly like the tradition, the ceremony, the dress and the party afterwards. I wouldn't ever really have a properly traditional wedding, it certainly wouldn't be in a church as that wouldn't feel right. These days we have more freedom to make weddings more unique, some even choose to write their own vows. I understand if people still wouldn't want to get married, but personally I want to do the whole big day thing, but I wouldn't pay extortionate amounts! At the moment if I was given £20,000 right now, "wedding" won't be the first thing I think of.

Anyway, it's a long time away but I brought it up now because it was a recent discussion.

Redefining Spirituality

spir·it·u·al·i·ty

   [spir-i-choo-al-i-tee] Show IPA

noun, plural -ties.

1.

the quality or fact of being spiritual.

2.

incorporeal or immaterial nature.

3.

predominantly spiritual character as shown in thought, life,etc.; spiritual tendency or tone.

4.

Often, spiritualities. property or revenue of the church orof an ecclesiastic in his or her official capacity.

I hear a lot about people wanting to be spiritual or get to know their spirit. Of course as a monist I don't see humans as having a life outside the physical body, I don't believe that we have a separate spirit or soul or that our bodies are just a vessel. Does this prevent me from being what is essentially "spiritual"?

I find the second definition above the most interesting, spirituality is immaterial because it cannot be seen, it is essentially a thought process or a way we relate to our place in the cosmos. I don't believe to become spiritual you need to believe in God, spirits, ghosts or any other superstition to be able to think deeply about our place in the universe. Spirituality could also be an understanding of ourselves, there is nothing wrong with calmly meditating. Meditation is a practice we as atheists could take part in without the need to believe in anything.

I think to redefine spirituality is to take it away from religious doctrine and see it as a deep thought process. I hope this makes sense.